Golf Sim Clubhouse Forum

Swing hard in case you hit it.
~ Dan Marino

A routine is not a routine if you have to think about it.
~ Davis Love Jr.

It's a funny thing, the more I practice the luckier I get.
~ Arnold Palmer

Talking to a golf ball won't do you any good, unless you do it while your opponent is teeing off.
~ Bruce Lansky

Rule exceptions in my fantasy world:

Cruel and Unusual Hazards

The following extreme water hazards and improper bunkers are deemed to constitute an unwarranted and impermissible interference with due and rightful play, and a player may replay a shot that is hit into any such water hazard, or throw his ball out of any such bunker, without assessing a stroke or incurring any penalty:

1. Any water hazard that, in order to be cleared, requires a ball to carry over it in the air for a distance of 150 yards or more with no possibility of a lay-up shot or safe play

2. Any lateral water hazard toward which a fairway has been purposely graded or sloped so that a ball will roll or bounce into it even if, as a result of a benign spin or favourable curve applied to the ball at the time it was struck, it should have easily avoided the hazard

3. Any bunker so situated in a fairway that no part of it is visible from the teeing ground, regardless of whether the bunker was accurately depicted in a schematic diagram of the hole on a scorecard or sign

4. Any bunker having a lip of overhanging earth, turf, or greensward a foot or more in thickness, or a retaining wall of stone or wood a club length or more in height, or stairs or a ladder for entry or exit, or an overall depth such that the surface of the putting green is above the eye level of a player standing on the sand within it

5. Any bunker that has been formally given or is generally referred to by an ominous or intimidating name (e.g., Devil's Sandbox).

Golf is just a game - and an idiotic game most of the time.
~ Mark Calcavecchia

In primitive society, when native tribes beat the ground with clubs and yelled, it was called witchcraft; today, in civilized society, it is called golf.

The straightest iron shot of the day will be exactly one club short

There are three roads to ruin; women, gambling, and golf. The most pleasant is with women, the quickest is with gambling, but the surest is with golf.
~ Andrew Perry

I like the one about the iron coming up a club short. If that isn't the truth.