Page 156 of 239

Re: Wit & Wisdom of Golf

Posted: September 5th, 2013, 5:23 am
by Stan Nehilla
LAW 2: Your best round of golf will be followed almost immediately by your worst round ever. The probability of the latter increases with the number of people you tell about the former.

Re: Wit & Wisdom of Golf

Posted: September 6th, 2013, 4:51 am
by Stan Nehilla
LAW 3: Brand new golf balls are water-magnetic. Though this cannot be proven in the lab, it is a known fact that the more expensive the golf ball, the greater its attraction to water.

Re: Wit & Wisdom of Golf

Posted: September 6th, 2013, 5:00 am
by tincup
The most difficult lie in golf is a ball sitting up in a perfect lie in the dead center of the fairway 150 yards from the pin

Re: Wit & Wisdom of Golf

Posted: September 7th, 2013, 4:53 am
by tincup
A ball will always come to rest halfway down a slope unless there is sand or water at the bottom

Re: Wit & Wisdom of Golf

Posted: September 7th, 2013, 5:26 am
by Stan Nehilla
LAW 4: Golf balls never bounce off of trees back into play. If one does, the tree is breaking a law of the universe and should be cut down.

Re: Wit & Wisdom of Golf

Posted: September 8th, 2013, 5:09 am
by Stan Nehilla
LAW 5: No matter what causes a golfer to muff a shot, all his playing partners must solemnly chant "You looked up," or invoke the wrath of the universe.

Re: Wit & Wisdom of Golf

Posted: September 8th, 2013, 5:18 am
by tincup
If you had to get up at five in the morning, got paid peanuts for working like a dog outdoors the whole day in all kinds of weather, and then took a lot of crap from a bunch of jerks, where would you put the pins?

Re: Wit & Wisdom of Golf

Posted: September 8th, 2013, 5:25 am
by bryce
tincup wrote:If you had to get up at five in the morning, got paid peanuts for working like a dog outdoors the whole day in all kinds of weather, and then took a lot of crap from a bunch of jerks, where would you put the pins?
HAHA I think the guy who puts the pins out at Brushy Mountain Golf Club read this before he put them out on Friday! Most were in the highest spots on the greens and as close as 4 feet from the edges.

Re: Wit & Wisdom of Golf

Posted: September 9th, 2013, 3:58 am
by Stan Nehilla
LAW 6: The higher a golfer's handicap, the more qualified he deems himself as an instructor.

Re: Wit & Wisdom of Golf

Posted: September 9th, 2013, 5:13 am
by tincup
On courses where the yardage is on the sprinkler heads, the nearest one will be 40 yards away, it will be blank, and it will turn on as you're looking at it