Wit & Wisdom of Golf

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A father put his three year old daughter to bed, told her a story and listened to her prayers which she ended by saying:
"God bless Mommy, God bless Daddy, God bless Grandma and good-bye Grandpa."
The father asked, "Why did you say good-bye grandpa?"
The little girl said, "I don't know daddy, it just seemed like the thing to do."
The next day grandpa died. The father thought it was a strange coincidence. A few months later the father put the girl to bed and listened to her prayers which went like this: "God bless Mommy, God Bless Daddy and good-bye Grandma.."
The next day the grandmother died. Oh my gosh, thought the father, this kid is in contact with the other side.
Several weeks later when the girl was going to bed the dad heard her say: "God bless Mommy and good-bye Daddy."
He practically went into shock. He couldn't sleep all night and got up at the crack of dawn to go to his office. He was nervous as a cat all day, had lunch sent in and watched the clock.
He figured if he could get by until midnight he would be okay. He felt safe in the office, so instead of going home at the end of the day he stayed there, drinking coffee, looking at his watch and jumping at every sound. Finally midnight arrived, he breathed a sigh of relief and went home. When he got home his wife said "I've never seen you work so late, what's the matter?"
He said "I don't want to talk about it, I've just spent the worst day of my life."
She said "You think you had a bad day, you'll never believe what happened to me. This morning my golf pro dropped dead in the middle of my lesson!"

[Stan Nehilla]

The driver swing speed of an average lady golfer is 62 mph; 96 mph for an average LPGA professional; 84 mph for an average male golfer; 108 mph for an average PGA Tour player; 130 mph for Tiger Woods; 148-152 mph for a national long drive champion.

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Whatever you think you are doing wrong is the one thing you are doing right.

[Stan Nehilla]

There are 336 dimples on a regulation golf ball.

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If you can't find your ball in the rough, but you do find another ball that you could easily play, it will be orange, yellow, or pink

[Stan Nehilla]

The first golf balls were made of thin leather stuffed with feathers. Tightly-packed feathers made balls that flew the farthest.
Feather balls were used until 1848.

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Rule exceptions for seniors

Concession of Putts

A player is conceded to have holed out on his next stroke, and his putt is "given," only as follows:

1. A first putt shall be conceded if it is so extraordinarily short that any player requiring that it be putted would be held up to more ridicule for doing so than the player to whom the ball belongs would be if he putted and failed to sink it

2. A second putt shall be conceded if it is no farther from the hole than the distance from the head to the beginning of the grip of a typical putter ("in the leather"), or if the player's first putt skirted, ringed, lipped, lapped, looped, circled, rimmed, or curled around the hole, or hopped out of it after striking its interior.

3. A third putt shall be conceded if it can be reached and picked up within one giant step by a player standing by the hole, or if that player reached the green in regulation but failed to sink his second putt for par.

4. A fourth putt shall be conceded if it lies anywhere on the putting surface unless the player took a practice putt on that green.

However, if a player attempts to hole out a putt that has been conceded to him and he fails to sink that putt, neither his next putt on that green nor any subsequent putts, no matter how short or how numerous, shall be conceded to him, but if his ball hit the flagstick on that green, this restriction shall be waived.

[Stan Nehilla]

The youngest golfer to shoot a hole-in-one was Coby Orr, who was five years old at the time. It happened in Littleton, Colorado, in 1975.

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No matter how early your tee time, there will always be a foursome in the middle of the first fairway.

[Stan Nehilla]

22.8% of golfers are women.