Wit & Wisdom of Golf

[Stan Nehilla]

For most golfers, the only difference between a one-dollar
ball and a three-dollar ball is two dollars.

[Stan Nehilla]

You can put “draw” on the ball, you can put “fade” on the
ball, but no golfer can put “straight” on the ball.

[Stan Nehilla]

The frequency with which balls are lost increases as the
available supply decreases.

[Stan Nehilla]

No putt ever got longer as the result of a ball being
marked.

[Stan Nehilla]

An extra ball in the pocket is worth two strokes in the
bush.

[Stan Nehilla]

A ball you can see in the rough from 50 yards away is not
yours.

[Stan Nehilla]

If there is a ball on the fringe and a ball in the bunker,
your ball is in the bunker.

If both balls are in the bunker, yours is in the footprint.

[Stan Nehilla]

Guy gets to a long par 3 over water. A voice from above says, "Hit the new Titleist Pro V."

The guy tees up the Titleist and takes a practice swing.

The voice comes back, "Never mind, hit a range ball."

[Stan Nehilla]

Golf is like chasing a quinine pill around a cow pasture: Winston Churchill

[Stan Nehilla]

I would like to deny all allegations by Bob Hope that during my last game of golf, I hit an eagle, a birdie, an elk and a moose: Gerald Ford