Wit & Wisdom of Golf

[Stan Nehilla]

I kept her tee time

Fred, playing as a single at St Andrews was teamed with a twosome. After a few holes, the twosome finally asked why he was playing such a beautiful course by himself. He replied that he & his wife had played the course every year - for over 20 years - but this year she had passed away and he kept the tee time in her memory.

The twosome commented that they thought certainly someone would have been willing to take her spot. "So did I" he said - "but they all wanted to go to the funeral."

[Stan Nehilla]

These greens are so fast I have to hold my putter over the ball and hit it with the shadow: Sam Snead

[Stan Nehilla]

A good golf partner is one who's always a little bit worse than you are.

[Stan Nehilla]

I once played a golf course that was so difficult I lost two balls in the ball washer!

[Stan Nehilla]

The game of golf is 90-percent mental and 10-percent mental.

[Stan Nehilla]

Many a golfer prefers a golf cart to a caddy because it cannot count, criticize or laugh.

[Stan Nehilla]

A guy on vacation finishes his round, goes into the clubhouse. The head pro says, "Did you have a good time out there?"

The man replied "Fabulous, thank you."

"You're welcome," said the pro. "How did you find the greens?"

Said the man: "Easy. I just walked to the end of the fairways and there they were!"

[Stan Nehilla]

Q: What's the easiest shot in golf?
A. Your fourth putt.

[Stan Nehilla]

Most golfers prepare for disaster.A good golfer prepares for success.

Bob Toski

[Stan Nehilla]

Top Ten Signs Your Caddie Wants You To Lose

Your new driver is slathered with bacon drippings and stick-um.
He wipes the mud off your ball with coarse #10 sandpaper.
You hear him whisper to another caddy that you're a "major league.." something.
He suggests you shorten the hole by teeing off over the snake-infested swampland "unless you're a pussy willow sissy boy."
As you line up your putt, he does shadow puppets on your pants.
He says he'd like to help you read your putts but he's illiterate.
When you sink a birdie putt, he moans "there goes my bet."
During your swing you hear him feverishly talking on his cell phone, but it's only to the time-recording lady.
When you ask him where to aim your next shot, he points to his left breast.
He hands you a driver, 9 iron and putter and tells you "meet me on the next hole and don't mess up!"