Wit & Wisdom of Golf

[Stan Nehilla]

Golf Dictionary

Valleys - On an undulating green, the relatively flat areas between mounds. The most famous valley is the Valley of Sin, located on the eighteenth green at the Old Course, St. Andrews, Scotland.

[Stan Nehilla]

Golf Dictionary

Vardon Grip - The almost universally used golf grip, in which the little finger of the right hand overlaps the forefinger of the left. Its invention is attributed to the legendary golfer Harry Vardon, a true innovator in the game who also developed an over-the-neck muzzlegrab for dislodging a ball from the jaws of a dog, a one-armed stranglehold for persuading recalcitrant golfers to recompute the totals on their scorecards, and a two-handed throatgrasp for throttling a caddy.

[Stan Nehilla]

Golf Dictionary

Victory lap - The circle a putt makes around the rim of the cup before falling in.

[Stan Nehilla]

Golf Dictionary

Waggle - To swing the club back and forth in short, sweeping motions above the ball after addressing it and before beginning the backswing. Another preparatory motion players often make is a "forward press," a slight shifting of weight to the left leg accompanied by a partial bending of the right knee just prior to starting the backswing. In extreme cases, particularly when a crucial stroke is about to be made, players may, even before setting up for the shot, make an "upward address" by fully bending both knees until they touch the ground, then tilting the head forward and clasping the hands together, fingers fully interlocked.

[Stan Nehilla]

Golf Dictionary

Wagon - A stupid name for a stupid contraption—the golf cart.

[Stan Nehilla]

Golf Dictionary

Warm-up Exercises - Although golf is not as physically demanding as most other sports, it certainly doesn't hurt to loosen up one's muscles before a round. Here are a few simple exercises designed to get you ready for the day's play:

Hold out your arm, make a fist, and shake it back and forth, then open the fist, palm facing inward, extend the middle finger, and pump your hand up and down.

Kick at the ground„ then stomp on it, first with your right foot, then with your left, then jump up and down.

Take off your hat, grasp it in your hand, throw it on the ground, pick it up, and repeat.

Raise your arms over your head, fists clenched, wave them vigorously and let out as loud a scream as you can, holding it for at least 15 seconds.

[Stan Nehilla]

Golf Dictionary

Water Hazard - Any boggle ub waddub borderburbled byb reb orb yellob markglubs fromble whidg idg uz legalble, bug ofteb inadvi sabubble, tub tryb tub higgle thub ballablub.

[Stan Nehilla]

Golf Dictionary

Watery grave - Where your disobedient balls go every time you try to carry a water hazard.

[Stan Nehilla]

Golf Dictionary

Weekend warriors - Golfers who play infrequently, so called because the only time they can play is on weekends.

[Stan Nehilla]

Golf Dictionary

Whiff - A stroke that completely missed the ball. The more prevalent term for this type of shot is "warm-up swing." See FLUFF.