Wit & Wisdom of Golf

[Stan Nehilla]

Golf Dictionary

Pose - What a golfer does when he hits a shot he's especially proud of, holding his follow-through for everyone to admire.

[Stan Nehilla]

Golf Dictionary

Position A - The ideal position from which to attack the pin.

[Stan Nehilla]

Golf Dictionary

Practice Green - A putting area near the clubhouse where players can try out chips, pitches and putts. It is usually located near the 19th hole so players can also work on their nips, drafts and snorts.

[Stan Nehilla]

Golf Dictionary

Practice Tee - The place where golfers go to convert a nasty hook into a wicked slice.

[Stan Nehilla]

Golf Dictionary

Preferred lie - A euphemistic way of saying a golfer has improved his lie. This can be done legally in certain situations, but mostly it's done to cheat.

[Stan Nehilla]

Golf Dictionary

Press - A betting term that means a new match is starting within the original match. This press match continues until the end of the original match, and the stakes are the same for both matches. Presses are often automatic when one side goes down two holes in the original match

[Stan Nehilla]

Golf Dictionary

Priority on the Course - In determining the order of play, the following rules should be applied:

Matches which, when Mulligans, take-overs and practice shots are included, are playing 10, 12 or 14 balls should give way to matches playing 6 or 8 balls.

A match that is playing the course out of sequence by cutting across from the green of one hole to the tee of a much later hole is entitled to pass a match that sneaked onto the course without paying.

Any match that has a player in it posing as a doctor who is late for a vital operation takes precedence over a match with a player pretending to be a judge overdue at a key trial.

Single players have no standing and must give way to a match consisting of two, three or four golfers unless, through voice changes and variations in stance and gesture, they can convincingly fake the symptoms of a multiple personality disorder.

[Stan Nehilla]

Golf Dictionary

Pro - Sensible person who believes that individuals who spend time playing golf professionally are no different from those who engage in some other similarly demanding occupation such as strip mining or demolition work and that, far from paying for the privilege, they should actually receive financial compensation for their labours.

[Stan Nehilla]

Golf Dictionary

Pro Shop - Challenging hazard located just before the first tee at most country clubs. The trick to getting out in under $10 (about par for the course) is concentration. Don't be distracted by the leather golf bags and matched club sets, the radical new putter designs, the smooth gloves, the shiny shoes, and the sporty golfing attire. Keep your head down and your eyes on the balls and tees. Tell yourself that your present clubs aren't old-they're classics. Every item of apparel you're wearing brings you luck. Your shoes are perfectly broken in. Your hat has character. Your glove . . . Forget your glove. Take a firm stance and dig in your heels. Get a good grip on your wallet. Take it out in a fast, sweeping motion and lightly flip a few crisp bills onto the counter. Always use cash: "charging" is one of the hardest golf habits to break, and those few little pen strokes can end up costing you plenty. Pick up your purchase with a quick snap of the wrist, then turn and stride confidently for the tee. You may shoot 100 today, but you're way, way ahead of the game!

[Stan Nehilla]

Golf Dictionary

Pro side - The high side of the hole, so called because more aggressive players generally miss their putts on the high side, where the ball has a greater chance of falling into the cup.