Wit & Wisdom of Golf

[Stan Nehilla]

Golf Dictionary

Dropping a Ball - A recent rule change does away with the old requirement that players introducing a ball to replace one that is lost do so by dropping it over their shoulder and behind their back. Players may now drop it at arm's length in any direction they choose. Of course, as before, a penalty stroke is assessed. This rule change does not affect clandestine ball drops, which are still made from the bottom edge of the pants pocket with the thumb and first two fingers of one hand while idly swinging a club with the other. And, it goes without saying, there is still no penalty for such drops.

[Stan Nehilla]

Golf Dictionary

Dub - To mishit a shot badly, causing it to roll on the ground and come to a stop far short of its target. A dubber is the guy in the group ahead who takes fourteen shots to reach the green and still insists he's having fun. (See also hacker and duffer.')

[Stan Nehilla]

Golf Dictionary

Duck hook - A shot that ducks to the left as soon as it is hit. More hazardous than a slice because it carries topspin and tends to roll farther after reaching the ground. As Lee Trevino once said, "You can talk to a fade, but a hook won't listen."

[Stan Nehilla]

Golf Dictionary

Duffer - A golfer whose actual score on any given hole is ordinarily more than twice his or her reported score.

[Stan Nehilla]

Golf Dictionary

Eagle - Unusually low score on a hole achieved by a golfer with an exceptionally good drive and one or two exceptionally good follow-up shots, or by a golfer with an exceptionally poor memory. See HOLE-IN-ONE.

[Stan Nehilla]

Golf Dictionary

Egg - The ball, but only within the context of putting. You can putt, broom, or roll the egg, but you don't want to chip, pitch, or hit it.

[Stan Nehilla]

Golf Dictionary

Elephant burial ground - Collective term for the huge mounds found on the greens of certain golf courses. Where good scores often go to die.

[Stan Nehilla]

Golf Dictionary

Elephant's ass - A poorly struck shot that is "high and stinky." Usually applied to a popped-up drive that is higher than it is long. An elephant's ass might also prompt a comment such as, "Except for distance and direction, that was a good shot."

[Stan Nehilla]

Golf Dictionary

Equipment - According to the rules of golf, equipment is "anything that can be thrown, broken, kicked, twisted, torn, crushed, shredded or mangled; or propelled, driven or directed, either under its own power or by means of a transfer of momentum, into underbrush, trees or other overgrown terrain; or over the edge of a natural or artificially elevated area; or below the surface of any body of water, whether moving or impounded."

[Stan Nehilla]

Golf Dictionary

Etiquette - The rules of behaviour in golf. There isn't room here for a complete list, but a few of the more important ones are:

Never put tees in your nose.

Never sneeze into your glove.

Never concede a chip shot.

Never hold a ball for another player to hit.

Never practice drives against a backboard.

Never wear golf shoes to a dance.