Wit & Wisdom of Golf

[Stan Nehilla]

Golf Dictionary

Blood, No - Phrase used most often in match-play situations to indicate that the hole was halved, or played even, and no money has been won or lost.

[tincup]

Three very religious rabbis in black with long beards were playing golf. A guy named Mulhaney wanted to play golf and this was the only threesome in which he could play. So he joins the rabbis and plays 18 holes. At the end of the game his score is 104. The rabbis shot 69, 70 and 71.

He says to them, "How come you all play such good golf?"

The lead rabbi said, "When you live a religious life, join and attend temple, you are rewarded."

Mulhaney loves golf and figures, what do I have to lose. So he finds a temple close to his home, attends twice a week, converts, joins and lives a holy life.

About a year later he again plays golf with the three rabbis. He shoots a 104 and they shoot a 69, 70, 71.

He says to them, "Okay, I joined a temple, live a religious life and I'm still shooting lousy.

The lead rabbi said to him, "What temple did you join?"
He said, "Beth Shalom".

The rabbi retorted, "Schmuck! That one's for tennis!"

[Stan Nehilla]

Golf Dictionary

Blow Up - To have your golf game come apart at the seams. Easily recognized: When your score is blowing up, so are you.

[tincup]

I say greenkeeper, I dropped my bottle of Scotch out of the bag somewhere on the seventh. Anything handed in at lost-and-found?" "Only the golfer who played after you, sir."

[Stan Nehilla]

Golf Dictionary

Bo Derek - A perfect shot. The expression comes from Ms. Derek's role in the movie 10, in which some considered her as attractive as a 350-yard drive down the middle of the fairway.

[tincup]

If a good course is one where you play to your handicap or better and a bad course is one where you struggle to break 100, why are there so many bad courses ?

[Stan Nehilla]

Golf Dictionary

Bob Barker - A shot that's hit too high to be effective, so called because we ask it to "come on down."

[Stan Nehilla]

Golf Dictionary

Body English - Informal term for nervous leaning or twisting movements that players sometimes make, particularly while putting, to "persuade" the ball to go in a desired direction. If the ball fails to do so, these movements are often followed by a series of vulgar gestures and physical expressions of disgust referred to as body Spanish, body French or body Italian.

[Stan Nehilla]

Golf Dictionary

Bogey - The number of strokes needed to finish a hole by a golfer of average skill and above-average honesty. See DOUBLE BOGEY.

[Stan Nehilla]

Golf Dictionary

Bogey train - A series of consecutive bogies. For professional golfers, the bogey train is a one-way ride to a job at a driving range.