Wit & Wisdom of Golf

[tincup]

If you have to hit a drive over a ravine, you need to make up your mind whether you're going to
a. hit a good shot short with a bad ball, or
b. hit a bad shot short with a good ball

[Stan Nehilla]

Nothing straightens out a nasty slice quicker than a sharp
dogleg to the right.

[tincup]

"Nice lag" can usually be translated to "lousy putt." Similarly, "tough break" can usually be translated "way to miss an easy one, sucker."

[Stan Nehilla]

The shortest distance between any two points on a golf
course is a straight line that passes directly through the
center of a very large tree.

[tincup]

A couple of old guys were golfing when one said he was going to Dr. Taylor for a new set of dentures in the morning. His friend remarked that he had gone to the same dentist a few years before.

"Is that so?" the first said. "Did he do a good job?"

"Well, I was on the course yesterday when the fellow on the ninth hole hooked a shot," he said. "The ball most have been going 200 mph when it hit me in the groin. That was the first time in two years my teeth didn't hurt."

[Stan Nehilla]

If there is a ball on the fringe and a ball in the bunker,
your ball is in the bunker.

If both balls are in the bunker, yours is in the footprint.

[tincup]

One Sunday a usually happy weekend golfer came home from the game very late, and much the worse for wear. 'Dear' wife greeted him at the door and demanded "Where have you been and what have you been doing?" The husband wobbled around of slurred "Had a bad game, sort of lost everything...you had better pack some bags, I even lost you".

The wife screamed "How could you do that?", the man replied "It wasn't easy, I had to miss 3 one foot putts in the last 4 holes".

[Stan Nehilla]

The frequency with which balls are lost increases as the
available supply decreases.

[tincup]

I'm not saying my golf game went bad, but if I grew tomatoes they would have come up sliced
Lee Trevino

[Stan Nehilla]

For most golfers, the only difference between a one-dollar
ball and a three-dollar ball is two dollars.