Wit & Wisdom of Golf

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The rental set has Sunbeam irons, Walmart woods and a Black and Decker putter.

[Stan Nehilla]

The only reason I play golf is to bug my wife. She thinks I'm having fun.

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The week after you break down and buy one of those super-duper new drivers, they'll knock a hundred bucks off the price and release a brand new model with a better shaft and a bigger head

[Stan Nehilla]

THE 1O COMMANDMENTS OF GOLF

THOU SHALT NOT covet thy neighbors putter.
THOU SHALT NOT pick up lost balls before they stop rolling.
THOU SHALT NOT wager with those who carry a one-iron.
THOU SHALT NOT play "inside the leather" with a 52" putter.
THOU SHALT NOT build thy house of handicap with sand bags.
THOU SHALT NOT worship St. Mulligan, except on the 1st tee.
THOU SHALT NOT imitate a stunt driver in a golf cart.
THOU SHALL yell "Fore!" before the body hits the ground.
THOU SHALL restrict profanity on the course to three putting or worse.
THOU SHALL throw thy clubs in non-lethal directions.

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Funny-looking putters have short life spans

[Stan Nehilla]

"I'm into golf now. I'm getting pretty good. I can almost hit the ball as far as I can throw the clubs."
Anon

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A group of golfers were approaching the first tee when they noticed a woman being given first aid. One of the golfers asked what had happened and he was informed that the woman had been stung by a bee and was having a reaction.

"Where was she stung?" he asked. "Between the first and second hole." was the reply.

He then replied, "Wow! She must have been standing right over the hive."

[xgstour]

Ok that was grossly funny! At least some of the jokes were original especially the commandments of open golf!

[Stan Nehilla]

I was recently playing a round of golf with a nice young fellow. On the first hole, which was a long par four with water to the right and a deep ravine to the left, the young man took out a brand new sleeve of balls, teed one up and immediately hit it into the water on the right. Undaunted, he pulled another ball from the sleeve and hit that one into the ravine, as well. Then he took the last ball from the sleeve and hit it, too, into the water. He then reached into his bag and pulled out another brand new sleeve of balls. "Why don't you hit an old ball?" I asked. He responded, "I've never had an old ball."

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The worse your drive is stymied, the more perfectly it would have played on the previous hole.