Wit & Wisdom of Golf

[tincup]

If the moon had an evenly dimpled surface and a rubber core, a couple of Out-of-Bounds stakes could pull it out of its orbit.

[Stan Nehilla]

A man playing as a single at Pebble Beach was teamed with a twosome. After a few holes, the twosome finally asked why he was playing such a beautiful course by himself. He replied that he & his wife had played the course every year - for over 20 years - but this year she had passed away and he kept the tee time in her memory. The twosome commented that they thought certainly someone would have been willing to take her spot. " So did I" he said - "but they all wanted to go to the funeral"

[Stan Nehilla]

One of the nice things about the Senior Tour is that we can take a cart and a cooler. And If your game is not going well, you can always have a picnic.

Lee Trevino

[tincup]

The score a player reports on any hole should always be regarded as his opening offer.

[Stan Nehilla]

The three things an aging golfer loses ...his nerve, his memory and I can't remember the third thing.

Lee Trevino

[Stan Nehilla]

Jimmy Demaret and I had the best sports psychologist in the world. His name was Jack Daniels and he was waiting for us after every round.

Jackie Burke

[Stan Nehilla]

If both balls are in the bunker, yours is in the footprint.

[Stan Nehilla]

Secrets Of Great Golf

A reporter was interviewing Jack Nicklaus.
He said, "Jack, you are spectacular, your name is synonymous with the game of golf. You really know your way around the course. What is your secret?"
To which Jack replied, "The holes are numbered!"

[Stan Nehilla]

The less skilled the player, the more likely he is to share
his ideas about the golf swing.

[Stan Nehilla]

Negotiations between union members and their employer were at an impasse. The union denied that their workers were flagrantly abusing their contract's sick-leave provisions.

One morning at the bargaining table, the company's chief negotiator held aloft the morning edition of the newspaper, "This man," he announced, "called in sick yesterday!"

There on the sports page, was a photo of the supposedly ill employee, who had just won a local golf tournament with an excellent score.

The silence in the room was broken by a union negotiator. "Wow," he said. "Just think of what kind of score he could have had if he hadn't been sick!"